Anonymous: thanks so much. okay so i've been with my guy a year and a half now. he had and has, he slips back and forth, alcohol problems. when he overcomes alcohol he abuses weed. when he overcomes weed he chain-smokes, its a vicious cycle. there's rarely a week he's clean. i love him unconditionally but we have been very rocky, a lot of alcohol-related issues with us. but back in february it all changed. im running out of room, will continue in next post.

part 1

Anonymous: Hi! Recently I have been less motivated to fill out this application to go to this school in another country, and my portfolio is done, but here I am just staring at an empty application. I'm trying to figure out why I'm feeling this way, and I'm so confused. Help, please?

My guess is that even though you know this is a good opportunity for not only your education, but your independence and life experience as well, you’re also fearful of leaving home, being in an unfamiliar setting with unfamiliar people, etc. It’s very understandable. I should probably tell you that this is an amazing opportunity that you shouldn’t pass up, but in all honesty, you should never do something that may make you unhappy. Your lack of desire to send out your application, is subconsiously brought on by you being hesitant and unenthusiastic about opening this new chapter in your life. This may be a good opportunity, but that doesn’t mean it’s the right thing for you. Not going wouldn’t be weak, or childish, and even though many say you need to try new things and be adventurous, that doesn’t mean sticking to something you’re comfortable with should be frowned upon. Moving to a foreign country is much, much different than just moving to a different city on your own. In fact, I admire you tremendously for even considering this move. But in my truthful opinion, go with your gut feeling; always.

Anonymous: I really really want to commit suicide tonight.. I know that no one would miss me and a lot of people would be happy I'm dead.

Nobody would be happy to see you lose your life, whether accidental or intentional, your death would cause an indescribable amount of pain and grief. Last year, there were two dearths of teens in my town, and you know what? People they probably never even knew noticed them, were grieving the loss of their lives. candle light vigils, tshirts and bracelets made, money raised for their families….nobody wants to see a life lost (granted, Osama Bin Laden, Hitler, etc.)

you have so much to live for, so many people who love you to live for, a future to live for. Things get better, I swear to you. The only place to go once you’ve hit rock bottom, is up. You’re going to be okay, you just need to want to. You need to think positive and take life one day at a time, rather than dwell on the negatives. You can overcome ANYTHING. And I want you to know that I believe in you, so much.
Anonymous: In addition to my stretch marks and my over-pronation problem, I hate going out with my friends. I hate going out at all. Especially when there is a huge amount of people of whom I know are people who are going to judge. It's terrible, and I hate people for that same reason. The only person, besides my family and my one and only best friend, is my boyfriend. Something in the way he looks at me, the way he talks to me, makes me feel secure, as if in a sanctuary. But I hate my body..

part 2:

Hi! I, too, am I size zero, and have stretch marks. It really sucks, doesn’t it? I don’t know about you, but my stretch marks came from my biggest growth spurt. I was 5ft in the 5th grade. Awkward class photos. 


The stretch marks on my inner thighs are horrible. I’ve always been so utterly self-conscious over them; very, very embarrassed. I used to be scared to wear bathing suits or shorts, because I felt as though I looked like some deformed freaks. But then….I started meeting people like you  - People who have the same problem! 

It’s super comforting to know that you’re not alone in something like that. Having flaws is only  human, in fact, flaws make you special. I’m sure you are so beautiful, and your flaws seem flawless.

The fact that you have a boyfriend who makes you feel comfortable in your own skin, is incredible. You have your family, your best friend, and a boy you love who are all proud of the person you are, both inside and out! Who else really matters? I’ve found that knowing my partner finds me attractive, makes me feel less…ugly. Being able to openly display your imperfections in front of someone whom you want nothing more than for them to think your perfect…that’s something special. 

You’re stunning, and the only person who can truly make you think otherwise, is yourself. Accept yourelf, as those who love you have accepted you. Try and see yourself through their eyes, and it’ll do wonders for your confidence. 

Anonymous: I have stretch marks on my thighs, and on my butt, and on my chest. I am a size zero. I hate having them. I feel disgusting. I also have over-pronation in my feet. They don't help with me feeling pretty. I hate it, because others hate it. I know I shouldn't, and it sounds absolutely ridiculous, but I can't help it. It is inevitable..

part 1

Anonymous: Do you think it's more important for a guy to make you want to be the best person you can be or for him to let you feel like 100% yourself?

Well, my boyfriend makes sure I know that I’m perfect as is, that I don’t need to change or improve. But he also encourages me to go after my dreams, he supports me and doesn’t let me give up. He also has no problem telling me when I’m out of line, which prevents future arguments. In my opinion, doing all of that, is doing everything right.

Anonymous: I came out to my mom tonight. She can't even look at me. What's wrong with me?!?

You’re gay. You can’t help it. You are who you are. God made you the way you are, and God makes no mistakes. Your mom is shocked, and this isn’t easy news for her to hear. What’s going through her mind right now is probably that what if she never gets grand kids, the thought of you being degraded and discriminated against, the question if this is somehow her fault. And soon, she’ll calm down, she’ll accept the way things are and understand that everything will work out alright. A parent should love their child unconditionally, and maybe this isn’t a condition she’s comfortable with or supportive of but it doesn’t lessen the love she has for you.

Anonymous: okay first i wanted to say that i love your blog. and i also wish i had a '67 chevy impala. but i wanted to ask you a personal question. im a senior in high school and i have never had a boyfriend. im kind of on the heavy side, redhair and green eyes. im shy until you get to know me. i have a lot of crushes but i dont think any guy like me. i just dont know what to do anymore. any suggestions? i would appreciate it A LOT (:

Just be yourself! You seem wonderful to me! There’s no rush for a relationship, just enjoy your senior year, stay true to who you are, and someone will see how amazing you are. And don’t be scared to initiate a conversation with any guy you’re interested in. Somebody’s gotta make the first move (:

Anonymous: me and my best friend fell for each other. he was in a relationship but he said he had feelings for me and i said i felt the same. he broke up with his girlfriend and we got closer and closer, we kissed several times but now i don't know where we're at. we don't talk or meet up and if i try to speak to him, he either ignores me or is really blunt and horrible. I'm so confused and upset about it. he's speaking and getting close to his ex again and it makes me feel awful, please help me :'(

Tell him what you told me. Simple as that(:

Anonymous: Which discussion? Well, it was the giving butterflies. And he and I have like French kissed before and he jokes with me, so I never know when he's being dead serious. He said that he wanted to do that, but it was out of his comfort zone. I don't know. I was confused by that. But he was being hard on himself because he hates hypocrites and he hates when he's being a hypocrite. So he thought that by wanting to do that he was a hypocrite. I'm not exactly sure. But he started acting differently.

Thats really strange. How old are you both? he doesn’t sound mature enough for a relationship.

Anonymous: Hey... Okay, so last night I was talking to my boyfriend, and we were all happy and such, purposefully giving each other butterflies. Out of no where he begins to say he's a hypocrite for wanting to do something, but saying he didn't like it before. But his opinion changed. And we were both upset. I was upset because he got into this weird mood that he rarely gets into anymore, and he was just being hard on himself. Do you have ideas to get him out of that mood? I'm at a loss.

It’d help if you told me what the discussion was about, and what triggered his bad mood

Anonymous: I'm 14 years old and might be in love with a guy who is 21. We've been talking since November and kissed for the first time March 15th. I can't stop thinking about him. I've kissed 4 guys since him,and every time I do kiss someone I get flash backs of him. We swore not to tell anyone because it is illegal,but he won't kiss me again because he's scared. He said he has no love for me,but I can't get him out of my mind.. what do I do? It's driving me crazy.

Sweetheart, in my opinion, 14 year olds shouldn’t even be kissing boys. You’re so young, and to be involved with someone seven years older than you, at this age, is outrageous. Don’t get me wrong, if you were twenty and he was twenty seven, that’d be perfectly normal. However, right now, you are at completely different stages in your lives, at different maturity levels, with different priorities and interests. To be completely honest, if a 21 year old kissed a 14 year old, especially if he considered anything more than just a kiss, he’s probably a very sick young man, and not somebody to get involved with.

Anonymous: hey :) I'm in a bit of a dilemma. It might sound cliché... but please don't laugh. I'm trying to figure out if I'm lesbian or not. I mean I've only had guy crushes, but I feel like I'm more um... attracted to woman bodies and what they do to eachother... if you know what I mean. And And recently I've thought as a girl or two in a different way. What should I do? Am I bi, gay, straight or just confused right now? :S

Uhm well, we all see beauty in every aspect of the world. I’m totally straight, but can say that certain ladies are breathtaking. There’s a difference from being attracted to someone and wanting to look like them. In my case, I’d like to look like the women I find beautiful, not have sex with them. I mean, you need to really think, would you be in a relationship with a girl? Marry one? Or do you crave having a man to love and depend on? I know so many supposedly bisexual girls who consistently complain about how badly they want a sweet, committed boyfriend. They never say they want a girlfriend. In my opinion (no offense to anyone) you’re either gay or straight. Anything in between is either denial or perversion. You need to figure out who you are, accept yourself as that person, and love yourself, no matter what.

Anonymous: i miss him every day. it hurts to think back to memories of us together. he made me happy in a time where i forgot how to smile. he knew how badly i needed someone & he promises he would always be there. now he's gone and he's doing fine without me and here i am crying and suffering without him. i'm scared i'll never be able to trust another boy ever again. because he promised me this time would be different, that he was different. he turned out to be just the same.

One day you’ll find the man of your dreams, and all of the ones who broke your heart in the past will be nothing but silly boys. Your heart can be bruised and damaged, but bruises heal, damage fades away. One one person, your soulmate, can leave a gash in your heart, a hole that can be filled with no one other than themself. But your heart keeps you going, and as long as youre alive, that true love isn’t dead. This boy isn’t your soulmate, he’s not your other half. You will heal, and that emptiness will be filled, the right puzzle piece will complete your picture. You just need to be patient. And when you and that person find each other, everything will be okay, always, because you’ll never face a moment alone.

HW